Sex Talk Wednesday - Flying With Smut

(I needed a quick break from working.)

I will be on vacation next week on a cruise to Alaska (on The Pacific Princess...The LOOOVVVE BOAT!) and this will be the first time in many, many years that I will be subjected to the new airport rules and regulations. I dutifully looked up all of the things that you are not allowed to carry, along with the ones that you are, but I could not for the life of me find ANYTHING that said whether or not you could bring smut on the plane!

The only reference I have is from Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (EXCELLENT movie, btw - yeah, I know, I still need to review it ::sigh:: I'm trying to get everything caught up...) where Kumar starts shoving mags called Vagina in his knapsack and then decides that he doesn't want to take the chance of them getting taken away from him, so he just jacks himself off to them before they leave. (That is not a necessity for me.)

So, is there anyone out there that can shed some light on this subject? I have Googled several different compilations of "airport porn", "can you bring porn on a flight", "flying with porn" (of which THIS one gave me what I thought would be a nice hit, but it ended up being the story of a terrorist smuggling a bomb on the plane and thinking that if he had porn with him that they would just assume that he was an American and let him go by. (Yeah, whatever.)

It's not like I'm wanting to bring a vibrator with me or anything. First of all, I am going on the trip with my parents and meeting up with some of their friends. I won't have a room all to myself, so THAT would certainly never happen! Plus, I would be absolutely mortified if it ended up looking like a potential bomb threat or something and it was taken out and/or handled and/or taken away from me (those things are not cheap, you know). I lost a very good pair of handcuffs that way, and I'm not risking anymore good sex toys.

I was simply wanting to bring some reading material with me - now that I will FINALLY have some time to myself to read. Not having to worry about housework or job work, I would be able to catch up on some mags. I have probably 3 Maxims (my favorite mag - not just for men, but for people with short attention spans - that would be me :]) that I haven't gotten to yet. But I also have a Penthouse Variations that is still in the wrapper because I don't like to open a new one without having read the older ones first. I recently renewed my subscription to that and I'm still on my first issue.

I don't want either of these titles confiscated from me, but there is nothing on the web that I can find that says what titles are allowed and what titles are not. I'm not very good at the confrontation thing with authority, so I can't see myself saying "but it doesn't say that it's on the 'don't bring' list!" as they are taking it away.

I have to get back to work now so I'm not leaving a big mess for anyone helping out my customers while I am gone, but if anyone knows if there are rules against porn on airplanes or in airports, could you please post a comment or a link or something, so I don't make a mistake?

One weird thing I read was that you shouldn't be wearing ANY metal at all on your person. This rules out jeans, belts, anything with a zipper, coins (duh), body piercings (no worry there), and underwire bras. That last one freaked me out a little because, I'm sorry, but when your boobs are big and not man-made big, you kinda need to wear a wire bra...otherwise you're just hanging out all over the place and unless the girls are tucked into a tank top, it's just not attractive. Now, according to what is allowed, you ARE allowed to have gel filled bras. Interesting. That means that before, gel filled bras were NOT allowed? I would have loved to have seen the reaction of the woman who was told that the gel filled bra in her suitcase would have to be taken away from her! NOW we're talking big bucks! (Heh, maybe I should bring one of mine with me in my suitcase and see what happens...) I have simply decided my plane attire will consist of sweat pants, a fleece shirt, slip on shoes and a swimsuit underneath. Presto, no metals and no wire bra needed. :]

Maybe when I get back, I will post a picture or two of what I am predicting to be the most gorgeous scenery I have ever laid eyes on up close and personal....provided I can figure out how to add a picture, that is.

(Really going now. Good thing I type fast....)

Vixy :]